I have been struggling with this issue for many years as an advocate against Domestic Violence (DV) from a "distance." This is a little incredible, considering that my mother was beaten by my father who was twice her size! Thank God she left him on that cold Thanksgiving morning after he punched her in the face with his fist knocking her 5'0'' 102 pound frame on the couch! I was pulling at his leg in vain trying to stop him as I was only 5 years old and he stood 6'4" and weighed about 220 pounds!
I can still hear the crack of her jaw as his fist smashed into her face; she took the punch and gathered me and my brother together and we left while the turkey was still in the oven. My Uncle John came over later to collect our clothes and personal items. "Make sure you get my comic books," I said to him. I did notice that he stuck his pistol in the back of his pants and he was extremely angry because my father had just beaten his sister! "Please don't shoot him John; just get my stuff," she said.
Looking back, I see how this single incident has impacted my life. It's been almost fifty years and I can still hear the sounds, feel the pain and the anger and see the rage in his eyes. Every time I see a turkey I think about that day. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday because I was able to turn the negative memory into a positive one. I am thankful that my mother "survived" my father. As for me, who knows how I would have turned out if she would have stayed. Statistics state that I would have probably been an abuser or been abused myself. I think about my mother's courage and strength and I rejoice in her resilience and loving, caring soul.
As I write about DV and this compelling subject that is ever-present, I am imploring men everywhere to get involved in gaining awareness, educating other men in your communities, churches, fraternities and organizations about the perils of DV and how its cripples families. If you know of a man who is abusing his family, intervene personally or contact the local authorities. Black woman have the highest incidence of murder among all ethnic groups by almost 4 to 1! Every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted or beaten in the US and DV is the leading cause of injury to women; more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined!
There is a "new voice" of reason and restraint in the earth stemming from the leading perpetrators of DV; namely, men. Men from all walks of life and, in particular, clergy have to teach and raise awareness in the pulpits across America. They have to minister to the men and women in their congregations. The subject matter is tough but people's lives are at stake; not just the women affected by the abuse but the children and entire family as well.
Please tune into Mandate Ministries "Uncut" Radio Show on Thursday, August 16, 2012 at 7:00pm on www.blogtalkradio.com/mandate. The call-in number is 1.347.843.4112 and the topic will be, "Domestic Violence and the Role of the Black Church." Our special in-studio guest will be, Donavan Grant, Program Coordinator of the NOVA Program in Charlotte, NC. NOVA (New Options for Violent Actions) is a Batterer Intervention Program designed to help program participants change their abusive behavior.
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